From Brokenness to Healing

These last nearly 8 months have been filled with joy, sadness, happiness, tears, peace, chaos, laughter, biting, silliness, spitting, HOPE and HEALING.  I have again experienced Christ in a deeper way through Braden.  For those who have adopted, then you get it.  You've been there.  Braden came to us at the age of 4 -and a half-years old.  Brad and I cannot make up for those very formative years.  The years that are so important to forming a healthy brain development for bonding.  Everyone always thought Braden was so happy.  And at times he was.  But deep down inside he was hurting.  And still is at times.  He missed China.  He missed his friends, his caretakers, his language, the food, the smells, he missed his normal.  Braden was not lucky to be in America. That was by far the worst for him.  (My family and I are the ones who were blessed to go to China two times--To leave what feels normal to us and go to a foreign country for only a couple weeks).  Braden was and still is grieving at times.  But we are seeing progress and we praise our Lord for that!  There were times several months ago I didn't think I could do this.  And that's just it...I couldn't!  Therefore, I depend on God for everything.  He's the one who has gifted me with motherhood.  And homeschooling...oh my.  School is so much more than textbooks.  Karsten and Kylie are learning so much about life skills and relationships.  However, Satan loves to attack us and trust me, we have been under attack.  But where can we go but on our knees to the throne of grace to help us in our time of need.  We run to the cross.  We run to Jesus.  He carries us, guides us, teaches us and molds us.  He knows we don't have it all together.  We are all broken.  There is no perfect family but my perfect King Jesus is the head of my family.  And so we persevere through the gospel.  God has and will never forsake us.  He has proved His trustworthiness over and over to my family and me.  We are humbled and blessed that God called us to adoption.  It's only a glimpse of what God sees in me as his daughter.  Braden is a blessing.  He's very loving and he has taught me more about what trusting God means. God is healing him emotionally.  Just a couple weeks ago I asked him if he still misses China and still wants to live there.  For the first time, he said with a smile, "No I want to stay here with my family."  That's no pat on the back for me.  That's all glory and honor to God. And Braden has not been biting or spitting on Karsten and Kylie anymore.  So remember, wherever you are on your journey with the Lord, remember that He didn't call you to comfort but commitment.