From Brokenness to Healing

These last nearly 8 months have been filled with joy, sadness, happiness, tears, peace, chaos, laughter, biting, silliness, spitting, HOPE and HEALING.  I have again experienced Christ in a deeper way through Braden.  For those who have adopted, then you get it.  You've been there.  Braden came to us at the age of 4 -and a half-years old.  Brad and I cannot make up for those very formative years.  The years that are so important to forming a healthy brain development for bonding.  Everyone always thought Braden was so happy.  And at times he was.  But deep down inside he was hurting.  And still is at times.  He missed China.  He missed his friends, his caretakers, his language, the food, the smells, he missed his normal.  Braden was not lucky to be in America. That was by far the worst for him.  (My family and I are the ones who were blessed to go to China two times--To leave what feels normal to us and go to a foreign country for only a couple weeks).  Braden was and still is grieving at times.  But we are seeing progress and we praise our Lord for that!  There were times several months ago I didn't think I could do this.  And that's just it...I couldn't!  Therefore, I depend on God for everything.  He's the one who has gifted me with motherhood.  And homeschooling...oh my.  School is so much more than textbooks.  Karsten and Kylie are learning so much about life skills and relationships.  However, Satan loves to attack us and trust me, we have been under attack.  But where can we go but on our knees to the throne of grace to help us in our time of need.  We run to the cross.  We run to Jesus.  He carries us, guides us, teaches us and molds us.  He knows we don't have it all together.  We are all broken.  There is no perfect family but my perfect King Jesus is the head of my family.  And so we persevere through the gospel.  God has and will never forsake us.  He has proved His trustworthiness over and over to my family and me.  We are humbled and blessed that God called us to adoption.  It's only a glimpse of what God sees in me as his daughter.  Braden is a blessing.  He's very loving and he has taught me more about what trusting God means. God is healing him emotionally.  Just a couple weeks ago I asked him if he still misses China and still wants to live there.  For the first time, he said with a smile, "No I want to stay here with my family."  That's no pat on the back for me.  That's all glory and honor to God. And Braden has not been biting or spitting on Karsten and Kylie anymore.  So remember, wherever you are on your journey with the Lord, remember that He didn't call you to comfort but commitment.

God's Beautiful Story

 

 

 

This is our latest update on our son Braden from China.  We are so excited to be called his mommy and daddy soon.  Karsten and Kylie are thrilled as well.  We are amazed once again at God's ways.  Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Glorious Unfolding" speaks so personally to me (I will share some of the lyrics in this post).  In fact, his songs ministered to me during my season of suffering.  Now Steven's songs the last six years have been his psalms.  He and his family are transparent in their suffering after their daughter Maria left this earth.  This song below fits my family so well.  We didn't and still don't have to understand why God took Kyler.  Just trust Him.

 "Cause I know this is not anything like you thought the story of your life was gonna be.  And it feels like the end has started closing in on you but it's just not true.  There's so much of the story that's still yet to unfold..."

God revealed to us years ago about adoption.  The deep abyss Brad and I were in left us clinging and crying out to God.  God has used our suffering to point others to Jesus, the One who suffered tremendously for us.  It took experiencing pain and loss for me to know Christ in His sufferings. 

"God's plan from the start for this world and your heart has been to show His glory and His grace...and the story has only begun...and this is going to be a glorious unfolding.  Just you wait and see and you will be amazed.  We've just got to believe the story is so far from over.  So hold on to every promise God has made to us and watch His glorious unfolding."

This is God's story He has written for us.  We still don't know what may come our way, but we trust Him as we continue to live for Him and walk with Him.  This journey is all about Him!

We love you Braden Matthew Chengjin Evans!! 

"We were made to run through fields of forever, singing songs to our Savior and King.  So let us remember this life we're living is just the beginning of the beginning."